COUPLES COUNSELING

“The problem is not that love is scarce, it’s that our emotional body, wounded and full of fear is no longer tuned to perceive it.”

— Don Miguel Ruiz

Couples Therapy is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on helping people improve their romantic relationships. By working with a therapist, couples can explore issues in their relationship and take steps towards healing their relationship through exploring their own self-love.

Couples therapy can be useful for married, dating, engaged, or long-term partners, facing challenges such as frequent disputes, emotional distance, major life changes, or external stressors. It is not limited to relationships in crisis; it can be helpful at any stage of a relationship. People in healthy, happy relationships can still benefit from counseling to strengthens their connection and build deeper trust, respect, safety, equality, intimacy, and romance.

In some cases, it can be a step toward a healthy separation.

Me: I learned to stay calm by shutting down

You: I learned to stay safe by understanding everything.

Me: I go quite so I don’t say the wrong thing.

You: I panic in silence because it feels like being left. ‍

We’re not trying to hurt each other

We’re responding from what we were taught

  • learn better ways to express yourself and listen to each other.

    If you or your partner are struggling with communication patterns like criticism or stonewalling, your therapist can help you identify other communication strategies

  • Every couple faces disagreements. But the way you handle those fights can have a big impact on the level of happiness in your relationship.

    In therapy, you can explore how past experiences shape your current behavior and learn to support each other even when disagreeing.

  • Your therapist can also help you shift your responsibilities with big life transitions, such as having a baby or making a career change. It’s important to discuss your roles at home and work. Talk about expectations around chores, decisions, finances, and responsibilities.

    Fighting about money is one of the most common conflicts experienced by couples. But it is possible to manage your money together without fighting. In therapy, you can discuss your spending habits and financial goals and share your views on debt and big purchases.

  • If you and your partner feel distant from each other, your therapist can help you rebuild that bond and talk about getting close again. 

    As much as talking about your connection as a couple is important, it’s also a good idea to talk about your individual wellness and self-care, too.

    Work with your therapist to talk about how much alone time you think you need and discuss ways to support each other’s self-care.

    Learn how you each want to spend time together and discuss simple ways to connect daily, even when you’re busy.

    Intimacy is an important part of many relationships. It’s also a very common area for couples to struggle with. In therapy, you can explore new ways to be intimate with your partner.

    You might work on improving communication about your needs and desires. If this is something you or your partner struggles to discuss, a therapist can help you feel more comfortable talking about it.

  • Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. If trust has been broken, therapy can help you work through feelings of hurt and betrayal. Your therapist can also help you learn how to rebuild trust and set new boundaries to maintain that trust going forward.

    For couples dealing with infidelity, a therapist can guide you through the healing process. Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both people.

  • Interactions with other family members can have its challenges. A couple’s therapist can help you learn how to handle family conflict.

    Your therapist can help you learn to set healthy boundaries, work on building self-esteem and give you ideas to develop more independence within your relationship. All of this can lead to a stronger and more equal partnership.

  • If you have kids, it’s a great idea to talk about your parenting styles during couple’s therapy.

    A couple’s therapist can help you get on the same page around discipline. Make a plan with your partner or ex-partners and talk about ways to co-parent.